Life changed me

Life changed me the past year. I found the career of my dreams, and my place in the world. I lost so much along the way including the woman I was with what seems like forever. A part of me still thinks about her.A part of me wonders if I still love her, but I don't let myself. I will not gloat on love I lost this post is completely about what I have gained. I have gained the freedom to travel withmy career. I have been inthe ocean, actually popped a man of war (long story but true), have been to New Orleans and seen the French quarter, went to Mississippi and met tow mater, so many more cities. I work wothsome of the best people and they all have their own characters nothing short of novel worthy. I am 29 now and figuring my life out finally I have goals a plan and a drive like no other and some day, nerd and all I want to say I told you so. To prove so many people wrong and to show myself I can love myself because you have to love you before anyone else can, and I don't know if I can handle any more heartache but I know I can handle more adventure and work. I am one of a kind and no one can take my stride from me anymore. I hold myself at higher standards and if you aren't on them then you aren't on my radar. its just how it has to be to ensure I get to where I want to go. People read only the things that interest them correct? So it only makes sense to be the most interesting. This change has occurred fromthe inside out and as i continue to grow I can only hope to expand. To keep going to keep pushing to be my best. To know that when love finds me ill be willing to accept it and keep going to keep going and understand my opportunity to be loved and to love proper. Maybe I just am the rabbit in wonderland and am already to late to my date and my time has passed for love,but its only some of the change life is just a series of changes mixed with decision.Perception is reality correct? I do know the one thing I always wanted before getting serious with anyone is a career. I got that now a good one with good co workers. Now do I make the move and start looking or maybe I have found her and she don't know it yet or maybe I'm just not meant to have a wife to call my own and as disappointing as that sounds maybe it is my course even though it's not what I want. I want a beautiful woman with a good heart and who lifts me up when we are down and who only brings out the best in me. I want a real woman not one who crushes my dreams and don't let me try before saying I fail. I need a partner not a property an even equal. I'm just pretty positive she doesn't exist outside of playing pretend or being in the movies. I want more out of life than to sit and watch t.v. all the time I want to experience all aspects of life not get told what my worth is because I know my worth and value now I set my own standards and I'm in love with my career. Now that I have that I need my missing piece the only thing I want is to find my love.