The Cost of Games: Why Are We Still Lyin’ in Our 30s and 40s?

The Cost of Games: Why Are We Still Lyin’ in Our 30s and 40s?

​Let’s be real for a second. Can we talk about the absolute exhaustion of modern dating and relationships?

​Look, nobody enters adulthood perfect. Most of us look back at our younger selves and cringe at least a little bit. Maybe we weren't the best listeners, maybe we were a little self-absorbed, or maybe we handled conflicts the wrong way. But at some point, you hit a fork in the road: you either choose to do the work to become a better human, or you stay stuck playing games.

​And honestly? The games are getting old.

​The Exhaustion of Asking for the Bare Minimum​The Exhaustion of Asking for the Bare Minimum

​When you’ve put in the time, taken the classes, and consciously chosen to be an honest, present partner, you start expecting that same energy in return. Not more, not less—just an even exchange.

​But instead, hitting your late 30s or 40s can feel like navigating a minefield of head games and heart games. It’s exhausting. At this stage in life, the only games we should be playing are Battleship, cards, or Monopoly. If it involves manipulating feelings or hiding the truth, count us out.

​Dishonesty vs. Peace

​Why do people still feel the need to lie, even about things that are bound to come light? A lot of it comes down to fear—fear of conflict, fear of vulnerability, or just a lack of emotional maturity. But whatever the reason, dishonesty breeds resentment. And once resentment sets in, the foundation is gone.

​When you choose complete honesty—like being upfront about who you're hanging out with or where you stand—you realize that truth is actually the easiest path. It saves time. It saves energy.

​Protecting Your Peace is a Health Requirement

​Here’s the turning point: setting strict boundaries isn't about being cold; it's about survival. When stress starts manifesting physically—whether it's chest pain, anxiety, or your body literally telling you “we can’t handle this drama anymore”—you have to implement a strict rule to protect your space.

​If someone is bringing outsiders' hurt, unnecessary secrets, or emotional chaos into your life, a "three-strike rule" (or even a one-strike rule) isn’t selfish. It’s necessary maintenance for your mental and physical health.

​The Bottom Line

​Life moves too fast to waste it on people who want to play hide-and-seek with the truth. If you are out here doing the work, staying honest, and trying to build something real, don't lower your standards for someone who hasn't grown up yet.

​Keep your circle honest, keep your and save your energy for the people who actually know how to match your value..

​​Leveling Up at 37: Starting Over, Betting on Myself, and Waiting on the Universe

Let’s be completely real for a second. If you told me a few years ago that at 37 years old I’d be hitting the reset button on my career and getting my notary certification, I probably would have laughed. Yet, here I am. Hustling, studying, pivoting, and honestly? Freaking out just a little bit behind the scenes.​It’s wild how we build up these imaginary timelines in our heads. By 30, you should have X. By 35, you should have Y. So when you’re pushing late 30s and find yourself rebuilding from the ground up, it’s easy to let the anxiety creep in. You look around and realize you’re still not married, the career path looks entirely different than you planned, and you’re just out here busting your ass every single day, praying it finally pays off.

​But I’m doing the damn thing anyway. Because I know I’m ready to level up.

​I’m working this hard because I want a life, a home, and a family of my own. But I don’t just want any relationship—I’m looking for the real deal. I want a wife who is my absolute equal. A true partner. Someone who sees the world for what it is, cuts through the noise, and wants to build a calm, grounded sanctuary with me. Honestly, having a place that genuinely feels like home is something I’ve lacked for a while. I want that peace. I want that anchor to give me even more drive and give us both something to look forward to every single day.

​I need that person who just gets it. Someone who understands everything I’m about, looks at my good sides and my messy sides, and loves the whole damn package anyway. I want the total package: a connection where the chemistry is off the charts, the sex is amazing, the adventures are endless, and the quiet moments are just as good.

​I’m turning 38 in April. I am so ready to meet my dream woman. I’ve done the work, I’m building the foundation, and I am putting it out there right now: Universe, send her my way already. It’s time.

​To anyone else out there starting over, reinventing themselves, or waiting on their missing piece—keep grinding. We're right on time.

​

Current Level

Hey there! Just wanted to share where I’m at on my journey lately. I've been really focusing on traveling and learning how to love myself better. It’s been quite a ride! I recently started a new sales job, which has its own set of challenges, but it’s all part of the learning curve, right?

I’m also working on letting go of the little things that used to bog me down. It feels freeing not to let my past define who I am today. Instead of getting stuck in the same old routines, I’m all about growing and becoming a better version of myself. I want to be more successful without being weighed down by struggles. Emotionally, I'm feeling pretty put together and focused on the future.

Speaking of the future, I’ve been thinking about marriage again, and honestly, things are looking up more than ever! It’s interesting how I feel like my vibe is attracting higher frequencies and keeping the negativity at bay. I guess when you elevate your energy, it’s natural that those on a lower frequency fall away. It’s like a purification process!

So here’s to not looking back at past mistakes and making sure they don’t haunt me as I move forward. Cheers to continuous growth and focusing on what truly matters!

New Ventures

Hey there, friends! 

So, I have some exciting news to share – I recently made the big leap and quit my job after five years! It was a huge decision, but I’m now on my way to starting my own sales company. To give you an idea of what went down, I want to share my journey and why I’m feeling more hopeful than ever, even when the stress levels peek over the edge.

For those who don’t know, I was pretty comfortable in my career. I was at Wyndham, for five years, and while it had its perks, the daily grind started feeling more like a rat race than a career. I was really passionate about sales, but the constraints of a traditional job kept stifling my creativity. After some serious soul-searching (and a lot of late-night brainstorming sessions), I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands.

The decision to quit wasn’t easy. I mean, who likes leaving behind job security? Yet, I realized that I’d rather risk it all for the chance to build something incredible rather than staying put in a place that no longer aligned with my goals. Plus, who doesn’t love the thrill of starting something new, right?

Now, let’s talk about the stress part. Starting a company is stressful , thank the gods im doing it with my best friend  – there’s no way around it being a whirlwind. but, here’s the thing, I’ve learned to navigate that stress by focusing on what I can control and taking it one step at a time. I’ve discovered that embracing the challenges actually fuels my motivation. It feels good to put myself out there, to hustle, and to see progress every day.

Every single day presents a new opportunity to learn and grow. From reaching out to potential clients to building a brand identity, I’ve found that every small victory is worth celebrating. Let’s not forget about the support from friends and family, which has been absolutely invaluable. They can always be counted on to remind me why I made this leap in the first place.

As I dive headfirst into this venture, I’m excited to share the ups and downs of this adventure with you all. If you’re thinking about making a big change like I did, remember to follow your passion and don’t be afraid of the bumps along the way. It’s all part of the journey!

Catch you all later, and wish me luck as I embark on this crazy ride!

Cheers to me

dumb decision ...

its hard admitting to wrong doings and im caught inside of weir static pain right now.  first time i take a chance since voldermort I get heartbroken no reason and silence and excuse just like my ex and I hate comparing people but why say big words n lie, like my feelings actually hurt and its like im sitting here like wth did I even be honest for from the jump just gets me disappointed in the end atleast I didn't have to go through more bullshit just same old thing different day as usual. I have manifested proper healing and love and its like love doesn't love me back and im done trying to be good guy for all the wrong ones. it makes no sense everyone leaves me feeling left empty from the emotional abuse of it all like im just supposed to fake my actual feelings.   I dont say or do things I dont mean good or bad, but the excuses of women who dont communicate like  disappointed is the word dont use me emotionally or to get back at an ex its super unattractive and unacceptable..... 

Big Changes

As I drop to my knees, I pray for the strength to keep my head held high when it feels like my heart is lost. It's like I was in a relationship with someone who didn't really know me or care to understand my love language. They keep putting the blame on me without giving a sincere apology. I have to remind myself that I've been through this before - it's just a pattern of growth. 

 I'm tired of settling for half-hearted things in my life, so I strive for better. It's frustrating when others try to invalidate my perspective. I may not always be right, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, judging my character without truly knowing me is unfair. I understand that I may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay. But it's hard to comprehend why people jump to conclusions and use harsh words without taking the time to get to know me. I was even accused of gaslighting for giving gifts that I thought were thoughtful, only to be let down in the end.

 Love shouldn't have to be so complicated, and life can be disappointing at times. It feels like I'm fighting a battle without knowing what I'm fighting for. I want someone who will say goodnight and good morning, send cute texts throughout the day to show they're thinking of me. I've never had the kind of love I desire. It's frustrating that women expect romance but don't give it in return. I've been gay my whole life and haven't found a romantic partner yet. I crave sweet texts, random kisses, surprises, and special love. As a Disney fan, I long for a fairytale romance, but so far, I've only encountered entitled people who expect everything without giving back. I admit I tend to go all out with gifts and gestures, but maybe I need to find a balance. 

My sister thinks I spoil women too much, but I just want to show my love. I wish someone would surprise me with flowers or gifts without a reason. It's tough feeling different from others, but I know I have a lot of love to give. I used to think I lived in my own little world, seeing things one way. But my experiences have shown me a whole different reality. I've been let down so many times, expecting things to happen that never do. I keep hoping someone will meet me halfway, only to be disappointed over and over again. It's frustrating being a woman who can't understand other women and their actions.

 I however, know I have grown and learned that I'm worthy of someone who is willing to try and meet me in the middle regardless of the situation. so I am trying to be patient and just let her come back to me because it's a want not a need and having to wait is just part of the process.My life coach told me I have been so logical and business for so long sometimes I forget logic its not a part of love, and sometimes not actually part of business because so many people have started off with nothing and became something or got a loan from debt and made a profit. 

I enjoy my life coach and figuring out how im growing and what steps I have already taken. I signed the ADHD contract yesterday and thats a huge deal in itself because its making a promise to myself to be better even when its not easy or when I'm overwhelmed. Also, therapy is going amazing CBT has me reacting completely different and noticing the organization happening the things I work on daily it actually puts a huge smile on my face because I did this without help, besides professional of course. I had one moment of freak out not long ago but I sit down and broke it down breathing through it and I made it no outburst or anything.

 I also know it's not ok how I have been treated in the past and I allowed it to happen to the point that I'm separated from the person I really wanted to marry but apparently I was seen completely different than I actually am so trying to get the person I love to actually get to know me has been the hardest task. its like they just aren't interested in knowing me at all which is kinda heartbreaking but I can't make people like me or talk to me for any reason I can only control my reactions and emotions to things and I am not reactive anymore I'm more like well it happened and I'm here can I fix it? If I can I fix if not I don't. just seeing things differently now and its frustrating that the one person I wished would see it isn't here. i hope they are at least checking in or watching because I want them to know I'm doing my best on becoming the best version of myself and I still love and miss them daily.I know what I want for my future but i don't actually know if my future wants me.

Hardest 24

I woke up today missing you. Usually, I would have wished you a happy anniversary and asked if there's anything specific you want for dinner or if you are working, is there anything you want to do after? But instead, you are almost two hours away and we are separated, and it really sucks.

I celebrated every month because life is tough, and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated you and the love you brought to me on that special day each month. I wanted to create a memory where you knew that one day a month, you could count on me to make it special and make you smile.

However, it seemed like you saw it as an inconvenience and never understood why. I thought it would help with the stress of the world around us, but it didn't get seen that way. I still tried, even though I felt this way.

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. I know that words of affirmation mean a lot to you, so I wanted to show my appreciation in the best way I could.

 I realize now that I should have probably talked to you about it and asked for your thoughts, instead of just assuming. I kept trying different things to show my appreciation, but nothing seemed to work. I've never really tried to show appreciation before, especially in such noticeable ways. Like cleaning your car when I clean mine, sending you lunch money when I'm out with friends, washing both cars, cooking for you when you're working, filling up your gas tank when you're low on money, making you lunch when you forget yours, and leaving little notes to show I care. I'm not perfect, but I always go above and beyond for the people I love. I've never gone to such lengths before, and it's not easy feeling hurt and missing you at the same time.

I am still working on becoming the best version of myself and trying to be supportive of you. I recently found out that you felt like I was trying to control you, which came as a surprise to me because that was not my intention at all. I felt like you were not prioritizing important things, and instead, you were spending time goofing off, going to Disney, traveling with friends, and not taking care of responsibilities. This left me feeling confused and concerned.

I was taking care of everything at home, working, and picking up the slack, while you were out having fun. It made me feel used and unappreciated when you would then ask me for money for gas, oil changes, or registration. I don't mind helping out, but feeling this way is difficult and it can really weigh on someone. I understand that there are always two sides to every situation, and it's like a cause and effect scenario. This led to that, and it's clear that we both have our perspectives on the matter.

It has been challenging for me to communicate with someone who doesn't seem interested in communicating. I hope we can work through this together and find a way to better understand each other.

I have always been a firm believer in logic, but I've come to realize that love doesn't always follow logical reasoning. It used to bother me, but now I understand that love is its own unique thing. It doesn't always make sense, but that's just the way it is. Love doesn't always follow the rules of logic, and that's okay. I've learned to trust in this fact and I'm working on it every day. Love truly is blind, and it took me a lifetime to understand that.

Every day, I learn valuable lessons that help me grow and improve. I may not be perfect, but I am always striving to be better than I was before. I am open to new possibilities and challenges, even though it can be daunting to think about the unknown. However, I find it exciting to know that I am on the brink of taking a major step towards creating a better life for myself.

I have always desired a better life for both myself and my loved ones than the one I experienced growing up. Despite facing challenges during my childhood, I have always been able to provide stability for myself and those I care about.