dumb decision ...

its hard admitting to wrong doings and im caught inside of weir static pain right now.  first time i take a chance since voldermort I get heartbroken no reason and silence and excuse just like my ex and I hate comparing people but why say big words n lie, like my feelings actually hurt and its like im sitting here like wth did I even be honest for from the jump just gets me disappointed in the end atleast I didn't have to go through more bullshit just same old thing different day as usual. I have manifested proper healing and love and its like love doesn't love me back and im done trying to be good guy for all the wrong ones. it makes no sense everyone leaves me feeling left empty from the emotional abuse of it all like im just supposed to fake my actual feelings.   I dont say or do things I dont mean good or bad, but the excuses of women who dont communicate like  disappointed is the word dont use me emotionally or to get back at an ex its super unattractive and unacceptable.....