​The Rebound Realignment: Why We Stay in Situationships (and What We Actually Deserve)

It is one of the most frustrating cycles in modern dating: getting deeply hurt by someone who refuses to own their part, while you’re expected to apologize just to keep the peace. When you finally walk away, you often realize the next person you date feels like a massive step down. Is that why they call it a "rebound"? Because you went to take a shot, missed, and realized the ball just doesn't bounce right?

​But the deeper issue usually isn't the rebound—it's what keeps us stuck in the first place. We have this natural, traumatic urge to try and "complete" painful chapters, thinking closure means forcing a happy ending. In reality, some chapters are better off skipped entirely. Looking back at a past seven-year relationship,it’s easy to feel like it was the biggest waste of time. The real work is figuring out exactly what past traumas led us into staying in those situationships for so long to begin with.

​Usually, it comes down to a hard realization: loving too hard and giving too much without making someone earn it. It gets exhausting hearing, “I don’t think I can be what you want,” when your expectations feel so baseline. You just want faithfulness, a great intimate connection, solid communication, and a partner who can hold down the fort while you grind—someone who has their own life going on, but is on point with managing the household, just like you're on point with working, paying the bills, taking out the trash, and cooking. You want someone you can trust wholeheartedly, but you start to wonder if that even exists when you're constantly told your standard is "too much."

Instead, the pattern repeats: finding beautiful, broken people you want to love and lead to the light. You’re looking for that one travel partner, that one beautiful person who truly understands you, so you can finally settle down. But instead of that fire and passion, you find yourself stuck in a limbo where you haven't even kissed, and the boredom sets in. It’s easy to start overthinking—especially when ADHD thoughts take over and you start reading between the lines and seeing the sideways angles of every interaction.

​At the end of the day, it's about wanting to finally be seen for who you really are. It would be nice to feel seen and to know that all of this trial and error is just building character for the best adventure story yet. You have to keep praying and believing that it gets better—because it has to, right?