Even though Tyler and I are currently apart, I want them to know that I am fully supporting them and working towards a better future for both of us. I hope that my efforts are recognized, as I am not trying to brag, but simply make wise decisions to secure a stable future for us. I believe actions speak louder than words, especially for people like us who are neurospicy. It's important to show our dedication through our actions, rather than just talking about it.
This new journey we are embarking on will bring peace to our home, improve our mental well-being, and ultimately lead to a better living situation. I won't mention the previous landlord's name for legal reasons, but let's just say we are better off without them.
It's frustrating that it took Tyler leaving, a breakdown, throwing a phone, arguments with friends, tears with my sister, and owning up to my mistakes for things to start falling into place. I guess I still have some lessons to learn the hard way, but that's just the stubborn Taurus in me.
Why is it that life's challenges seem to get tougher as we get older? It's like going from a friendly wrestling match to a full-on cage fight that we're not supposed to talk about. Life sure knows how to throw a punch, doesn't it?
I'm just frustrated that it took me so long and so many trials and so much hardship to get here. I really wish life would calm down and let me ease in. I want my better half to come home because these walls are just walls without the love we shared. I've lived in all kinds of houses all over the place, but I've never felt the calm and good rest I have with this person. I'm getting older and learning more every day, but that doesn't mean I should stop being the charming person they fell in love with. I am calm, centered, and ready to take on the next adventure with open eyes and an open heart. I want to do it right this time and build the strong foundation we deserve. I just wish that foundation didn't take so much depth to get there. Where's the road map to love that says you have to have a breakdown before anything good happens? All these unwritten rules seem to be in place, and no matter how hard someone tries, if it's one-sided, nothing will be done but misery. That's why they say misery loves its own company. Therapy is helping me so much with many things. I can see things differently now, not just from a selfish point of view, but from all points of view. I still wish these walls were filled with the love I have for that woman. By the Gods, I know I have it bad. I try to deny it and be strong, but when that girl smiles at me, my whole world stops moving.I know I'll eventually get it right, with sweat, tears, and all. I'm on a journey to become a better human and strive to be the best version of myself. Even when things get tough, I have to keep pushing myself to improve, stay calm, follow the steps from therapy, and become the person that the world admires for being authentic. My goal is to demonstrate that growth is possible and that hard work pays off. Words of encouragement are crucial during challenging times. I've been making an effort to let Tyler know that I'm proud of them and to keep up the good work. I'm also trying to be understanding and honest at the same time.
Tyler isn't here, but at the same time, I'm happy that it happened because we both needed to grow in order to be better for each other. Do I know if Tyler is coming home? No, but I believe that by being my best self and striving to improve, it might bring her back to me. True love is tough, man. When it ended, it felt like a part of me was missing. I'm emotionally exhausted and just going through the motions right now. My therapist says it's normal because I'm guarding myself from more pain. I know that it's going to take time for us to rebuild, but for this woman, I would definitely make the time. My heart tells me she's worth it, my head says I'm crazy, and my body is just confused. It's like love or a drug addiction, which doesn't sound pleasant at all.I believe that definitely sounds like love.
I chose this area because it's up-and-coming, just like us striving to be better, less violent, and definitely worth the price. Haha, just kidding, but seriously, it's worth it when we're together. Plus, there's more nature around here, making it easier to stay grounded and connected to my virtues and spirit. It took me a while to get back to practicing my virtues daily and following the path of light effortlessly.
I'm in a new area now, hoping for a calmer atmosphere. Unfortunately, the plants don't seem to grow in the ground here where we are currently. The only way to change that is to improve myself, work harder, and tap into the magick I was born with, and obviously new city.
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